3rd Saturday morning in Findhorn

I woke up early and had many thoughts about the culture here and am wondering what happened between the first time I was here, 1978, and today. Last night my sister Aries and I had a long talk about this. She and her husband Pierre had been in Findhorn many times, starting their visits in the early 80s.

Aries and I have both come away with the same feelings. We sense that in the earlier times the community was still deeply connected to the energy of the founders, Eileen and Peter Caddy, Dorothy MacLean, and Roc (who had frequent contact with the nature god Pan). We both experienced this as a clear, easy and powerful contact with the spirit of nature, which created deep transformation for all of us, Pierre too. Aries reports that Pierre had been a generous but cynical and secretive business man who after the ‘Game of Transformation’ (an actual game that was designed here and is played) had a total shift in consciousness, which was hugely helpful to their partnership.

In 1978 I remember walking to the beach and screaming all my pain and frustration of my previous life into the wind and felt cleansed with a lifted sense of pure lightness.

The gardens at Pine Ridge, where I was sent to work (love in action) were beautifully laid out and carefully guarded of who was to be let in to ‘play’ with the plants and how one would bring ones own consciousness to the interaction.

I met Eileen and experienced her fervent urgings to connect to spirit, many attunements seemed to be going on in the community. We did Circle Dancing with Anna Barton, who apparently still lives in the community. I hope to be able to visit her and ask her opinions about the changes over the years.

When I was here again last August our group was expertly guided by one of the old timers explaining about the workings of Findhorn. We had one unforgettable evening in the Nature Sanctuary where we shared from the heart and meditated together, but other than that one was left on ones own to discover ones contact with nature (and not much time was left for it). We went to Randolph’s Leap where the wild Findhorn river has its path, and I felt a ‘neglect’ with human spirit’s cooperation. I sensed that nature was withdrawing its energy from humans, and I came away feeling so very sad. I talked with the trees to make contact and had to ‘time travel ’ in my mind to the deeply nourishing contact I had made with one of the trees in 1978 , when I had fallen into a ‘sleep’ at its roots to ‘return’ afterwards so wide awake as never before.

This time, 2008, the focus of that trip seemed to be for the group members to try to swim in this cold river for the thrill of it and having to be super careful that no one would come to harm (which had recently happened). I missed guidance into the deeper realm of nature, I know this would have been immeasurably valuable to me, and maybe for others in our group too.

I have had tons of group experiences in my life, always full of learnings and connections, but how to connect with the help of the healing forces of nature, that would have been and still is the most important part for me in coming to Findhorn.

I am trying to get a sense if this is still a focus for the community members who live here, the teachers and the many visitors who come.

At the moment my take is that Findhorn has turned into a place for Green Business, with the emphasis on Business, as well as busy-ness.

I am hoping that I am unfair in my assessment and will continue to look for hopeful signs. Nature is endlessly patient with us humans, until it isn’t, and Findhorn played a hugely important part by focusing on the direct contact with NATURE and it its secret messages from plants and trees, immeasurable wisdom teachings, training us humans to become much better listeners.

Michale Roads, who has been a teacher here in Findhorn, and also at my place in Pa. says in his latest book ’Secret World of Nature’ .....we so seldom experience the fullness of life in the moment that we have become addicted to linear time and space.’ He further reminds us ‘ We are physically three-dimensional, but metaphysically, we are fourth-dimensional. All our thoughts, our emotions, feelings, intuition, imagination, etcetera, are obviously not physical; they are metaphysical and express on a fourth dimension reality. It should be noted that the metaphysical always precedes the physical’.

So I am devouring his teachings again (after having read all his books during their early publications) in the middle of the night here in Findhorn today, to find a way to make contact with the early intention of humans’ contact with nature....still the same reason I came here so long ago. And the question ‘What happened to Findhorn’ won’t leave me alone.

I just returned from a walk and breakfast with my Kaffee Klatsch group to the Bakehouse in the village of Findhorn, the same little group from last week. Lotte from Copenhagen, Christiania community, Hans from Sweden, Permaculture teacher, Cynthia from Seattle, Permaculture teacher (who is planing to stay here for at least 6 more months), and Ana, from Brazil, Community Organizer.

We had a long talk about our course and different opinions of what we came for and what the experiences are....the verdict is still out and experiences in stay tuned.

meanwhile here are some photos of the nearby village of Findhorn.