This is a three part series on The Message of the Ego.
1 Shall We Kill the Ego or Love it Away?
2 Ego-body: Blueprint of the Soul
3 Selfish - Fishing for the Self
SHALL WE KILL THE EGO OR LOVE IT AWAY ?
The place we call the “Ego” seems to give us at best a lot of worry, and at worst it causes unwanted discomfort and even destruction.
Do we in turn need to destroy the ego, or should we even want to?
As a Body-Psychotherapist I find that on an energetic level the ego resides in the 2nd “Chakra”, which signifies personal and sexual relationships and the ability to say “YES” or “NO”, when appropriate. (Chakra is a Sanskrit word meaning “wheel”, which refers to the seven major energy centers in the human body). On a developmental level it signals the time of the two year old child in us who is learning to say NO, while trying to discover and affirm its ego-self identity without interference. (Remember the “Terrible Twos”?)
What if you were to approach your ego the same way you would handle a willful child, who needs to find out how she/he fits into the world, test whether she is “good enough”, acceptable and mostly lovable. Would you try to suppress the child’s creative explorations of self, or would you want to caringly teach and lead her/him into new directions?
Whenever we don’t feel heard, seen, acknowledged, respected, or appreciated our early memories - particularly those of our two year old time - get triggered. Our subconscious can, and does, immediately and relentlessly flood us with unexplored feelings of the past. No wonder we want to get rid of and deny these uncomfortable and often painful memories.
Most of us believe that we are not good enough, that we did and are still doing something profoundly wrong because we aren’t, and weren’t, able to control our environment by making the world a safe place for ourselves and the people we care, or “should” care about. This belief was so firmly planted long ago, that it still haunts us today.
In order not to get re-traumatized we often choose to suppress the early painful experiences.
We may collapse under them and become depressed (and then take anti-depressants to stop the overwhelming feelings). Most often we become defensive when someone accuses us of even the slightest wrong doing. What we are really defending is that fragile young place inside, the child who is still looking for a voice, trying to be heard and seen… In truth, we no longer want to get acknowledged by anyone else of the past or present, but rather we want to be lovingly re-parented by our own adult self.
With the kind of Body-Psychotherapy I have developed over many years, and called Unergi (unity & energy), we can access and gently redirect and re-educate the early self without being afraid of re-traumatization. Through simultaneous touch, talk, and movement the rejected ego self can find a welcoming, integrated place that will feel expansive on mental, emotional and physical levels. We will learn how to create and sustain meaningful relationships.
Life includes all and therefore needs to creatively, naturally and lovingly express our spiritual nature without fear of even the youngest and most inexperienced part of us. Didn’t the loving entity Jesus say, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." (Mark - Chapter 10:14)
I suggest that we start with healthy, compassionate self-care and remind our younger ego self that we are “good enough, acceptable and mostly lovable”, one moment at a time!
This is a three part series on The Message of the Ego.
1 Shall We Kill the Ego or Love it Away?
2 Ego-body: Blueprint of the Soul
3 Selfish - Fishing for the Self
You may want to join us in Unergi classes, workshops, or private sessions.
utebarnold@gmail.com
